Soul Conversations

Everyone is experiencing deep emotions once in a while. But when you live with it forever, it's a game changer. Not that you know it any other way, as it's a genuine part of who you are and there's nothing much you can do about it. To care, to deeply care, about everything, about everyone - it can be very exhausting and devastating at times. But it's also amazing on so many levels, and totally worth it. For this to serve you well, you have to understand your limits, to learn how to set up the boundaries, otherwise, you will be constantly drowning; in your own feelings, but also in everyone else's. 

It's a heavy burden to take. Blessing and a curse. Especially when you are young and trying to distinguish pieces of your own chaos. It can build you up and destroy you at the same time. However, the worst thing you can do, being this person, is to ignore that inner voice. It will tell you the great truth in a heartbeat, only if you listen. If you decide not to, it will haunt you all the way to the moment, where you realize you should have known better. Never take this gift for granted. You can avoid so much disappointment and suffer, only if you embrace it as a genuine part of yourself.

Don't blame yourself for being "different"; this will teach you to deal with the abandonment feeling and loneliness that comes with it. You are not alone in this. You cannot change it, you can only learn how to use it in your favor. It's not always easy and it takes a lot of sacrifice, self-discovery and facing your own demons. And you need to be very brave to go down that road. But eventually, it can only bring you higher sense of purpose; everything will finally start to make sense. Piece by piece, the puzzle will complete and you will understand. Everything happens for a reason. You happened for a reason.

Stop running away from yourself. Breathe in, take a look around you, breathe out. Feel the air and sun on your skin. Hear the voices. Smile. There is so many things out there protecting you. We are our own enigma to solve in this life. You are not anyone else's project, but your own. Face yourself, forgive yourself, and most important - love yourself. Because people come and go, and you stay forever. Expect nothing from others, build the expectations only from yourself. But don't forget to be gentle and forgiving in the process. We are being the hardest on ourselves, because we are constantly trying to become this better person for the world and it seems it's never enough. You should do this for you. It's where all begins and ends. 

Don't let anyone else convince you that the way you're feeling is wrong. There is no such a thing like a false emotion. Maybe you don't understand why do you feel the way you do straight away, but just because someone else thinks it's imaginary, doesn't mean it's true. After all, it can only affect you, it's no one else's concern, but yours. Your action derived from those emotions can, not the emotion itself. There is no one to blame or blackmail in this "game". You're making a choice - to stick with it or to move away. The way someone or something makes you feel is not just going to disappear, but forcing the other side to feel the same or what you think should be felt is simply a lost battle, before it even started. 

Acknowledge your emotions, positive or negative, and take time to understand it. You cannot run from yourself forever. And you shouldn't. Allow yourself to feel, to really feel this world you live in, and you will be able to see the big picture. Only then other people's feelings will start to make perfect sense, and freedom will forever be the right choice. To trully love, is to be free. Free to be yourself, free to give and receive back, free to appreciate the other person through the spectrum of your own existence and emotions. It's a different kind of magic. I promise. 

"Love, what did you do to me? My only hope is to let life stretch out before me, and break me on this lonely road. I'm made of many things, but I'm not what you are made of."*

*London Grammar. Big Picture. Truth Is A Beautiful Thing. February 2017.

Copyright © Danijela Mališić. June 2021. All Rights Reserved.







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