Someone You Loved

There are those days when everything seems just lost, when you feel like giving up on fighting, when you torture yourself  asking questions, how the hell this happened again and was it worth it. Am I worth it? When you can barely speak of all those emotions you're drowning in, when you think you cannot face the world ever again and all you want to do is to scream at the top of your lungs. We cannot control who we love, but we can be more careful with how much we allow people. No one can protect you from the takers who have no limits, except for you. But you don't do that by trying to become one. You are you, for a reason. 

There are those nights when it's cold, freezing cold. When darkness seems to be only thing that surrounds you. The only voice you can hear it's the voice of despair. You can hardly recognize yourself anymore. You are numb and you are lost. You think there is no coming back and you just lay there in the silence of eternity. But that's where you're wrong. Those are exactly the moments you should fight the hardest and your weapon is closer than you can imagine. You are not weak, just because you feel. Everything you gave, it just made you stronger, it's your reminder how brave you are and you should continue to be. You're still standing, against all odds, and that's what matters. You matter. You are that weapon.

There are those people, who enter your life like a hurricane, destroy everything on the way, take you to some distant and cold places, and just leave you there; permanently ripping the part of your heart and taking it with them; blaming you on the process. But then there are people, who even left in the darkest of places, choose to be the light. For every single tear, they give out their best smile; after every abandonment, they hug you even stronger; every hurtful word spoken, they will replace with three beautiful. They wait, even when everyone else left, they fight, even when everyone else gave up, they just get it, even without any explanation.

Be those people. Hug the world the strongest you can and give it all the love that you can possibly give. The world needs it, it needs you to be that person. Only by opening and learning how to do so, we can turn into who we are supposed to be and only then we will be able to understand the power of it. To do what's right, despite how hard it can be, or how bad it hurts, is what gives you the strength. You cannot lose who you never had in the first place. But you simply cannot ever allow to lose yourself. You are not a fool for giving, trying, risking, loving - you are fierce and you are strong. You are enough, and you are beautiful. And don't let anyone ever convince you otherwise. 

*"I need somebody to heal, somebody to know, somebody to have, somebody to hold; it's easy to say, but it's never the same, I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain."

 

*Lewis Capaldi. Someone You Loved. Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Extent. BMG Rights Management, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC. 2019.

Copyright © Danijela Mališić. January 2022. All Rights Reserved.